Earlier this year, social media was abuzz when photographs of the wedding ceremony of 21-year-old Daniel Greenham and 30-year-old Navin Hoolas appeared on Facebook. The images were widely shared, and drew mixed reactions.
The couple had, a month earlier, celebrated their love by getting married, but not in Guyana. Given that same-sex marriage ceremonies are not legal on these shores, the LGBTQ+ couple journeyed across the Atlantic to Costa Rica to tie the knot and celebrate their union.
Many same-sex couples have been travelling to that Central American destination to get married, as its laws permit two people of the same sex, who do not necessarily reside there, to marry.
How it started
In an interview with this publication, the couple shared that they met on social media platform Facebook in August 2020, in the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. It all began after Hoolas replied to a story that was posted by Greenham on the platform. Reflecting on their journey of togetherness, Hoolas said that their conversation started with a comment about Daniel’s eyes.
“Daniel had posted a picture on his story, and he had big green eyes, and I had commented on the picture saying ‘Damn!’ So, his eyes were the first thing that caught my attention…and that’s when we started talking, and he said, ‘Hello, good night’, and I responded, ‘Wow! Finally, someone with manners.”
According to Greenham, that same evening they spoke for hours, until around 06:00am the following morning, and he immediately knew that the friendship was evolving.
“So, after the first time he actually messaged me and I responded, we ended up calling each other the same night…around 11. We talked the entire night, until six- thirty/seven the next morning. From then I knew I met my person…it was truly amazing,” he said in a cheery voice.
According to Hoolas, he and his partner maintain a healthy relationship by communicating frequently and constantly giving reassurances about their commitment to each other. He said he often works in the United States of America, and he is away from his newlywed husband a lot. However, he still manages to make communication his top priority to maintaining a healthy relationship.
“A healthy relationship honestly is having [an] understanding of each other; because, as a gay couple, sometimes we tend to be in our own mood. We both have our moods, so the thing that we do to help each other is talk to each other on a daily basis,” he added. “We are both busy, so the understanding of each other and supporting each other for our jobs and helping each other on a daily basis of our lives help us attain that secret to a healthy relationship,” he said.
Age gap and coming out
Hoolas said the two sometimes are not on the same page because of their age differences.
“Our relationship has a lot of challenges. Daniel is 21 (and) I am 30, so there’s an age difference. So, him being younger, me being older, we tend to not be on the same page at times. So, some of the challenges we’ve faced is: when we first started dating, I told my parents about him, and I know he was the one, but he had not come out to…his siblings…so I had to help him overcome that.”
Hoolas said the two have had to address the proverbial elephant in the room, the issue of homophobia within the family circle. He reiterated that keeping the communication line between them active is a major priority.
The public’s reaction
Guyanese society is still adjusting to the social evolution of marriage, and, as such, the couple has had their fair share of public scrutiny, most of which was hatred early up in their relationship.
“In 2022 we posted our first couple pictures we took in Guyana. It was at the Marriott Hotel on Valentine’s Day. We had posted a couple photoshoots of us at the Georgetown Marriott, (and) that’s when we went viral for the first time, because it’s not normal to see two guys taking pictures, making love and posting it on social media in Guyana,” Hoolas shared.
He said their posting drew many comments, and persons even reached out to them on Facebook messenger.
“At first, when we posted those, we went viral, and we had gotten a lot of hatred comments. And even in our inboxes, both of us, most of the comments were horrific, and we both had to take moments to cool ourselves down and to help each other understand that it’s going to be okay, because Daniel had gotten multiple death threats from commenters, saying they’re going to shoot us down or they’ll set fire to us. It was tough.”
But all was not lost. Their friends, family and ordinary people reached out to the couple. “As people message and talk to us…and most of our friends and majority of our family had come to closure…and they accepted us. But, throughout the process, it hasn’t been easy.”
Hoolas said being accepted remains a tough scenario to deal with. “Most of the times it’s sad, it’s truly sad. It’s 2023 and there’re certain individuals that can’t come to terms with LGBTQ couples and their belonging in society, so it can be tough. But we have support from our friends and our families.”
Recounting his personal journey, Hoolas said the death of his sister took a toll on him, and in 2016, he made the bold step. “So, my first time coming out was in 2016. After my sister had passed away from suicide, I decided that it’s been so many years just living in a closet, so I wanted to come out, and the first person I came out to was my cousin. After I came out to her, I needed to come out to my family.”
This August, the couple will commemorate three years of being together, and they remain optimistic about their union progressing fruitfully in the years ahead.
The law
As for being accepted by Guyanese society, the couple are optimistic. “At the end of the day, we just want acceptance and society to have an understanding of LGBTQ+. Life is too short to hate,” Hoolas said.
According to the laws of Guyana, same-sex intimacy between men is criminalised under sections 351 to 353 of the Guyana Criminal Law (Offences) Act, Chapter 8:01.
In fact, Section 351 penalises the act as ‘gross indecency’ between two males, while Section 352 outlines the punishment, including jailtime, for anyone who attempts to commit buggery, assaults another with the intention of committing buggery, or a male who ‘indecently assaults’ another male.
“Guyana is slowly developing, and one day, (I) hope to see changes with its law against homosexuality,” Hoolas said.
The couple is encouraging other LGBTQ people in Guyana to live their best lives and be the best in everything. They urged that such people hold conversations with their families, and be themselves. “Nothing is more important than living free and take off the mask,” they have said.
